


How to Take Down a Flagg

by Talayse



Series: Nobody Expects the Flagg [3]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, MASH (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 21:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4237437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talayse/pseuds/Talayse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colonel Flagg meets his match.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Take Down a Flagg

**Author's Note:**

> This story is 100% funnier if you read Colonel Flagg's lines in Colonel Flagg's voice. Never met Colonel Flagg? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2TrW8jR8EM

"Colonel Flagg," the elderly woman called from her hospice bed.

The orderly who had just set down her lunch tray with her midday medicine cocktail on the side table turned and frowned at her through his thick framed glasses. "How did you know it was me?"

"I'd know you anywhere, Flagg. You were one of our most interesting hiccups," she said. "Also, your mustache does not match the colour of your hair and while some fair haired men do in fact grow facial in a different colours then on their head, you are a brunet. Inept disguises always were one of your disappointing flaws."

Flagg whipped off the fake glasses, but left the ridiculous mustache in place. "Agent Carter, we've had a security breach."

"Director Carter," she corrected. "Who has been letting you out of OSH*, Colonel?" 

"They've been playing in your mind, I see. We have to get you out of here, Agent."

Peggy Carter coughed and then sighed, "I should have left Howard in the Thames. His attempt at the super soldier serum really was an absolute failure, among others."

"I am not at liberty to discuss classified material with you Agent," Colonel Flagg said.

Peggy closed her eyes, "It must be someone else with enhancements letting you out of OSH. Who would be deranged enough to let you wander free, I wonder."

"Agent Carter, I must insist that you desist telling me secrets I shouldn't know," Flagg said, looking perplexed. "We need to leave now, I've arranged for a submarine to meet us at the coast."

"I'm not going anywhere Flagg, least of all, with you," Peggy said.

"I will incapacitate you if necessary," Flagg said.

"I dare you to try," Peggy said. 

"You won't win in a fight against me," Flagg said, looming over her.

"No?" Peggy huffed. "How about government transparency?"

Flagg flinched as though struck.

"Agency accountability?" Peggy continued, eyes closed and body relaxed.

Flagg reeled.

"And I know your real name."

Flagg fell to the floor.

Peggy reached for the call button. A few moments later a real orderly came in. "Please take him to reception, a collection crew will be here for him shortly."

"Yes, Director," said the burly orderly, who took hold of one of Flagg's feet and dragged him out.

Peggy settled back into her bed and murmured, "I shall have to speak to Nicholas about him. This sort of thing really won't do."

**Author's Note:**

> *OSH=Old Spies Home


End file.
